humor
“I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree.”
“Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.”
“The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.”
“A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.”
“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
“It is a strange enterprise to make respectable people laugh.”
“A learned fool is more a fool than an ignorant one.”
“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
“I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.”
“There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke.”
“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
“The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.”
“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
“Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique, and not too much imagination.”
“Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.”
“Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.”
“The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.”
“Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it.”
“Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.”